You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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