You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
