I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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