I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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