so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I think i got beer on your cat.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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