I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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