i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You have to summon your inner elephant
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
