You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Are we still banned from the library?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
