Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
