Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
