I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
