i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
