i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
