Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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