You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
