Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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