omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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