I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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