Do you still have your period?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
