i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
vagina is talking i cant
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize