Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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