Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
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