and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize