matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
