Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize