I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
