He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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