I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
