can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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