It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
