im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
