I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
