Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize