And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I have post one night stand depression
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