I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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