This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Randomize
