This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
