we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
me + whiskey = a bad person
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
