My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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