we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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