Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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