HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
