Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
