I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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