just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
