I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Every concussion has its silver lining
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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