i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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