You're my little dorito
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize