I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
