the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
