i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
i need some magic done to my vagina
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
