Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Watching her eat just hurts me
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
