worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize