C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
