Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sponge bath it is.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
