i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
