Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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