i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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