Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
my phone needs a breathalizer
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
