There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
